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We’re away this week, but never fear, we won’t leave you without a dose of Sweet Valley madness! Here’s the next part of Anna’s unhinged 2002 fanfic, From Here To Sweet Valley. When we last left the 20-something SVH gang, Liz had returned from Dublin to organise a school reunion. Everyone returned to town, including Jessica, now a superstar with a private jet called the Hershey Bar. Winston finally found the courage to defy his terrifying wife Lila and reunite with Maria. Liz and #poorjeffrey also reunited. Todd and Enid, who had fled town after graduation when Liz found them in a passionate embrace on her Oracle typewriter, returned to town in disguise and discovered Liz had never revealed their dirty little secret. Jessica had finally slept with Bruce. And Lila was vowing revenge…. Now read on!

Elizabeth was checking her e-mail when the door of the Wakefield’s split level ranch home burst open – and Hurricane Jessica blew in.

“Lizzie! Lizzie! Are you home?” cried Jessica, racing into the sitting room.

“I’m right here, Jess,” said Elizabeth with a smile. “What’s up? Hey!”

For Jessica had flung her arms around her sister and embraced her.

“What’s this in aid of?” said a muffled Elizabeth.

“Nothing,” sighed Jessica, releasing her sister. “It’s just…well, normally when I sleep with men and regret it, I’ve no one to talk to about it. It’s kind of nice to have you back here again.” She smiled at her sister.

Elizabeth smiled back, touched. Her sister hadn’t changed. But then again, neither had she. On the surface, both girls looked exactly alike, from the tops of their blonde wavy heads to the tips of their perfectly tanned toes. They even still wore their matching lavalieres.

But on the inside, the twins couldn’t be more different. Jessica liked parties, flashy clothing, and hot guys. She never dated the same guy twice, and had somehow managed to escape being called a big slapper unlike the girls she bullied. Her idea of a good time involved lots of excitement.

Elizabeth was just the opposite. Although she looked exactly like Jessica, she was more likely to wear a pair of sensible chinos than a lime green mini-skirt and florescent pink tights. Although she had, until her exile, liked hanging out with her friends, she had never been one for late nights. And far from dating hundreds of men, there had only been one man for her. Todd Wilkins.

No, wait a second.

Two men.

Todd….. and Jeffrey.

Elizabeth remembered the joy of their reunion last night. She recalled the way her heart had taken flight after its years of dull captivity. She remembered their sensual dance.

And she remembered that she was going to call him that morning.
But Jessica’s needs came first.

“Okay, Jess,” she said. “What’s up?”

“Please don’t be mad at me, Lizzie,” begged Jessica. “But I slept with ….Bruce Patman!”

“Oh, Jess!” cried Elizabeth, horrified. How had Jessica lowered herself to enter Bruce Patman’s sexual love nest?

“I know, Liz, I know!” cried Jessica. “I don’t know what came over me. It was almost as if I was under some sort of magical spell.”

“Bruce has always had a magical touch with the ladies,” ELizabeth mused. “Maybe he has indeed resorted to the black arts.”

“I don’t really think so, Liz,” said Jessica. “I mean, can you imagine Bruce going to all that trouble? I’ll admit that he can usually get all the women he wants. But me! No way.”

A horrible thought came to Elizabeth.

“Jess, you don’t think he…drugged you?”

“No way, Liz. I was pretty sober. Well, I was a teensy bit merry. But I knew what I was doing. It just seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Well, don’t worry, Jess. it was just a mistake. You won’t do it again.”

“No,” said Jessica, thinking wistfully of the encounter at Miller’s Point. “I guess I won’t.”


Winston Egbert held his breath as he slipped his key into the golden lock on the front door of Fowler Crest.

He had no desire to see his bizarre wife again, but he knew he had to collect some clothing. He had come out last night without even a wallet, and though his parents were delighted to see him, Winston couldn’t expect them to buy him new clothes. All he had was the suit he stood up in.

He had no intention of taking anything valuable; he was leaving behind all the fancy gifts Lila had lavished on him over the years. All he wanted was some clean underwear, a few shirts and a pair of jeans. Oh, and a few of the books Lila had allowed him to keep. He had a medium sized duffel bag, which he was confident would contain all the belongings he wished to take.

He opened the door softly, and crept inside. It was the servant’s day off, so he wasn’t worried about an officious butler coming up to assist him. He just had to hope that Lila wasn’t anywhere around. With a bit of luck she’d be right up at the top of the house, in the lavish chamber she called the Throne Room. Winston hoped she was.

He walked on tip toe across to the stairs. The lift was quicker, but Lila might notice it going up, so the stairs it was. He had just reached the bottom step, when a weird creature flew at top speed down the stairs, chattering loudly.

“What the hell!” cried Winston. Then he recognised the beast. “Oh no!”

It was Boo Boo, Lila’s strange simian companion. Winston hated the creature, whose blue face made him queasy, as did the strange little waistcoat in which Lila dressed the monkey. It almost looked like some sort of uniform. Worst of all were the wings which grew from Boo Boo’s tiny shoulders. Defying all the laws of physics, Boo Boo could fly perfectly, and that gave Winston the creeps.

“Boo Boo!” came a terrifying roar from upstairs. “What was that noise? Is there an intruder in the house?”

Lila! She was here! Winston knew he had to get out of the house. He turned and made for the door, but Boo Boo blocked his path. The winged monkey flew around Winston’s feet, making movement almost impossible.

And he could hear Lila’s distinctive tread on the stairs.

Terror made him bold.

“Out of my way, Boo Boo!” he cried, giving the monkey a shove. With that, he bolted for the door, scrambling through the door way just as Lila appeared at the top of the landing.

“Winston!” she bellowed. Insinctively, Winston turned back for a moment.

What he saw terrified him.

Lila was wearing a glistening black and white gown, more suitable for evening wear than morning. Her enormous scary eyes were smeared with black eyeliner, and her grotesquely puffed lips were painted a cruel red. Her brown hair was in dissarray, at disturbing odds with her perfect make up. She raised her fists in a gesture of ferocious rage.

“Get him, Boo Boo!” she shrieked.

Winston didn’t turn back. Running faster than he thought possible, he ran for his parent’s car, making it in and slamming the door just before Boo Boo reached the vehicle. The monkey cried out in frustration as Winston screeched out of the driveway.

Winston was safe.

But, he wondered as the car sped back through Sweet Valley, for how long?


Elizabeth was sitting by the phone, a list of numbers by her side. So far, she’d invited nearly all their class to the reunion, and the response had been universally positive. No one could say no to Elizabeth Wakefield. She was still the most beloved woman in Sweet Valley. Her long absence had only increased everyone’s love for her.

There was just one person she hadn’t rung.

Cara Walker.

Elizabeth had been horrified by the news that Cara and Mr Collins had fallen in love. She felt enraged on Steven’s behalf, but mostly she was shocked that Mr Collins could have fallen for a student. Well, a former student.

And maybe, she thought, she was a little…..jealous?

Not that her feelings for Mr Collins had ever been anything other than respect and admiration, she reminded herself. But she missed her old mentor, and the thought that Cara and he were soulmates made her feel a little envious.

Elizabeth didn’t hate Cara for what she’d done, though. Jessica was the one who held grudges for years. But she didn’t feel comfortable at the thought of talking to the girl who had broken her brother’s heart.

Still, it had to be done. Taking a deep breath, she dialled the number.


“Hello, Cara?”


Suddenly ELizabeth found her courage returning.

“Hi, Cara it’s me, Liz. Liz Wakefield. How are you?”

Cara Walker was stunned. but she was also delighted. Had the Wakefields forgiven her for betraying their brother?

“I’m fine, Liz,” said Cara. “It’s…it’s really good to hear from you. It’s been a long time.”

Suddenly Elizabeth’s vague feelings of animosity towards Cara melted away. It wasn’t fair to hold a grudge against a girl who had fallen in love with another. It wasn’t as if Cara had gone behind Steven’s back, she reminded herself. Cara had been honest with Steven from the moment she and Mr Collins realised their mutual passion.

“It’s good to talk to you too, Cara,” she said warmly. “How are things?”

Cara felt dizzy with relief. Liz was being friendly! Did this mean she could make a new start? Did this mean she could go to the reunion, meet her old friends? As the two girls chatted, she found herself hoping with all her heart that it did.


Wearing her favourite gold bikini, Jessica lay on her favourite pink plush beach chair by the pool in the Wakefields’ back yard, one perfectly manicured hand trailing in the warm water. She looked serene and peaceful – but inside she was anything but. Jessica was thinking about a boy. That was nothing new – she seldom thought of anything but boys, clothes and people adoring her – but this time, the boy was Bruce.

And when she thought about it, that was nothing new too.

Jessica sighed. Could she really be falling under Bruce Patman’s sexual spell once more? It had been twelve years since their disastrous romance, which Jessica herself had ended in a dramatic scene at the Dairi Burger. She had paid Bruce back for treating her badly, and after that the pair had been, if not outright enemies, than bitter rivals.

But had their animosity just served to conceal the spark of passion that was kindled whenever they were together? Jessica feared that it had. She thought of her and Bruce’s passionate encounter in his new Porsche, which bore his old license plate: BRUCE1 Just thinking of those embossed letters made Jessica tingle.

“What’s wrong with me?” she said aloud. “How can I be feeling something for Bruce Patman? Haven’t I learned my lesson?”

But, remembering the sweet moments of sensual ecstasy which Bruce had bestowed upon her at Miller’s Point, she realised that she hadn’t.

“I crave you, Bruce,” she whispered. “I want to get those Chinos off you right now. I want to run my hands through your thick, healthy hair. But I’m not going to let you know!”

She leapt from the back chair and dived into the pool. Jessica Wakefield was always hot stuff, but right now she needed to cool down….


“It was terrible, Maria!” said Winston Egbert. The former class clown’s voice was shaky as he took a sip of his coffee. The reunited lovers were in Guido’s, Sweet Valley’s best pizza parlour, where Winston was telling Maria about his attempt to collect his possessions. “That monkey creature she keeps as a pet tried to stop me getting away! It flew after me – I thought it was going to stop me getting to the car!” He shook his head. “She’s crazy, Maria. She’s never going to let us live in peace, her and that monkey, Boo Boo. We have to get away. Let’s move far from here! Let’s go to, I don’t know, New York! Boston! Anywhere far away from Lila Fowler!”

Maria looked in distress at Winston. She knew his terror was genuine, but she found it hard to believe that Lila, although undeniably grotesque, was quite as terrifying as Winston made out. Surely Lila wouldn’t actually harm anyone. Maria was sure the millionairess was all talk. And as for the flying monkey creature –well, Winston was obviously exaggerating. It must be some sort of exotic bird that looked like a monkey, or, if the beast were an actual simian, it must have jumped and leaped around the place in a clever simulation of genuine flight. A monkey that flew – well, that was just preposterous, and preposterous things just didn’t happen in a normal town like Sweet Valley. That weird town up the coast, yes, but not here.

But Maria also knew that Lila had bullied Winston for years, and that she had to acknowledge his fear. It wouldn’t do to try and cajole him out of it.

“I don’t think we need move right now, Win,” she said. “But we’ll definitely keep out of Lila’s way. She’s probably just freaking out a bit because her slave has broken free. She’ll get over it.” Her hand reached out and touched Winston’s shaking one. “And so will you.”

Winston raised his eyes to hers, and attempted a smile. But his eyes were sad. “I hope so,” he said. “I hope I get a chance to do that…”